THE PEN COLUMN

Che (1) Want To (2) Cry


Welcome back to the EPL Chelsea..

I know you never experrit.. 😂

Hahahahahaha.. Them go start that Fabregas. That one wey come with inbuilt negative spirit. E no reach them, them still allow am score for them inside 5 minutes? Ahhh! That bad luck? You die well today.

Sergio Busquets, may the good lord judge you! Ever since Kante was turned - Micheal Jackson style. His eyesight never remained the same. Kante dey see things now in reverse. It was supposed to be a friendly game, yet you carried somebody's child and turned him like my signature, put his vision anti- clockwise and sent his mind back to the days of little beginnings. That is foul sir!

Now see.. Ordinary Zaha sef don dey reap the benefits of Kante being a wasp. Dey patrol Chelsea private parts like Surgeon. Cahill chop yellow! David Luiz wan fight.. Take it 'Eazi' my friend.. What be the matter? See as you do Chelsea defense like 'skin tight'. In fact! 'Zaha dat!'

When Christian Benteke dey lead counter attack against your team, you know say water don pass garri.. Not sure if it's Christian Benteke, or Cristiano Ronaldo. Carry a whole 6 foot 4 man dey mop floor.. This thing dey pain me. How will Courtois look at a sliding door next time and open it, when he knows he can actually slide faster? I mean.. The grass may be greener on the other side, no mean say make you chop am na. Kai! I sympathise with you brethren. My thoughts are with you and your people.

And see.. This nonsense gat to stop! Chelsea go dey find goal, them go con put Batshuayi inside match! Hahahahahahaha.. Batshuayi for God's sake! I mean, I understand when Jurgen Klopp put Matip for match when him need goal, but that Batshuayi own, I no fit! USELESS!!!!! I SAY U.S.E.L.E.S.S!!!! That boy na heavy dirty! Person wey no fit start match if Costa even die. Put am for match, single shot on target e no go play, only carry hair con block the whole place. Carry better height and stature for nothing. Batshuayi be like those tall friends for your secondary school, wey you dey dodge for their back if teacher dey pass.. Na just road block him be. Waste of space! Next time put Zouma or Terry, we go understand!

The evil spirit wey dey fast forward Pedro leg, don get him new number again, anytime e see ball, them dey comot pitch view from him face, show am track, con show am Usain Bolt for him side and finish line for front.. Oya gbera! That one dey play wetin I go like call disoriented / confused football.. On your marks! Set!! Pedro!!!

As for Costa, I love him newly found form. E be like person wey dey ready to collect 7 yellow cards in 4 games, than score goals.. E for even chop red today! That's the Costa we love and want! Keep it up baba!

Antonio Conte no fit do 'passion' today. E no do conductor.. E no run pass linesman wey dem dey actually pay to run. Na finger e dey chop! You Italian David Moyes! Play Fabregas next match again, we dey wait for you!

Like I yan for up.. Welcome back to the EPL. It's marathon month. It's squeaky bum time. Nobody wan relegate. Wa fe ku!

I sign out now.
If my troll vex you, I'm in my house chopping chicken, coman beat me!


Category: Troll Section



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